The Process

I've received alot of questions and comments about the how the adoption process works and why it costs so much lately so I thought I'd take a few min to explain it. I will try to post what my 6 months of research took me to understand into 500 words or less.

When you decide you want to start the domestic newborn adoption process you get in touch with an agency. We are going through Bethany Christian Services. You then attend an orientation meeting. Next comes the application. The fee for the application is $500 and requires about 20 pages of paperwork. This lets the agency know you are ready to start the process. Next comes a series of 3 tasks that must be completed in no specific order.
1. The Homework packet. A manilla envelope filled with single sheet papers about 3inches thick that all need to be filled out, signed and dated. This homework packet comes with background checks and fingerprinting and safety checks and in depth profiles about our history and finanaces. To turn in this packet requires a $2500.00 payment.
2. The Homestudy. This is where a caseworker comes into our home to interview our family and make sure our home is a safe place to raise a child. Having an approved homestudy is the most important thing an adoptive family can have. This homestudy is $2500.00.
3. The Adoptive Parent Weekend. This is a day and half of classes to bring up all aspects of the adoption, including issues that may come up later in life such as potential issues with inter-racial adoptive families and how to deal with your child wanting to search for their birthparents. This class is $3000.00

Those are the 3 main components of making you a qualified "Waiting Family." Once those three things have been completed then you can put together a profile that will be viewed by birthmothers. In the original packet you fill out there is an Openness Plan as to the type of child you would like to adopt as well as the openness of the adoption you would like to have with the birthmom. You have the opportunity to be as open minded or narrow minded about that plan as would like, but you must keep in mind that the birthmothers are only shown profiles that match their plan for their child. The more open your plan is the more birthmothers will be shown your profile. There is a Family Profile Fee of $600.00
At this point, we would be considered a Waiting Family. ***insert my happy dance***

Birthmoms will be shown our profile and when SHE PICKS US then there is a fee of $2000.00 due at the time of the match. This fee is to cover any medical expenses or expenses related to the pregnancy.

Then at the most wonderful, magical, exciting moment ever when the baby is actually placed with us and all papers are signed then the Placement fee of $10,900 is due. This cost is to cover all legal expenses and post placement visits by the caseworker.

This is the step by step process of how our adoption will costs. Now, if you were adding it up it goes like this: $500 + $2,500 + $2,500 + $3,000 + $600 + $2000 + $10,900 = $22,000 which is also = we don't care how much it costs because the first time we hold our baby it all becomes priceless!

I hope this answers a lot of the questions as to why the process takes so long and why it costs so much. This post may have seemed very matter of fact and only about finances but really it was just to educate about the process. If I would have inserted any emotions or thoughts on the matter this blog would've well exceeded my promised 500 word count. ***addendum: actual word count is 674, unless you count this then its 687, oh well. You win some, you lose some. Shoot! Now its 699.

Please continue to help us pray for provision and patience. More news will be coming next week as to the upcoming fall fundraisers we have planned.

FTW Garage Sale Fundraiser Update

This was our first fundraiser event. Over 15 families donated to our sale. Even my kids made cookies and brownies to contribute. Every day new people came by to help sort through items or drop off items. We have really been overwhelmed by the generosity of everyone that contributed. Some we never even met before!

When I was pregnant with my first baby, we kept it a secret until I was 12 weeks. I loved that secret that my husband and I shared. And telling my mom and dad was one of the most fun things I have ever done. There wasn’t facebook or twitter then and people sorta found out in a trickle effect and every time we told someone I felt like I was looking at the positive line on my pregnancy test all over again. Babies 2 and 3 were fairly similar experiences.
My husband and I are pretty private people when it comes to the details of our lives. We never discussed “getting pregnant” with the first three with other people, but that could be because we just got pregnant and we weren’t trying. This situation was obviously completely different. We were pregnant with just the idea of the adoption process for so long. We discussed it. A LOT. Reviewed it from every angle. Talked to friends and family about it. Then made it very public very quickly.

I feel so touched that people, some I know very well and some who I don’t even know at all, follow our journey. Even simple things like following our blog. Each act makes me think, this is really gonna happen! We really are gonna be able to adopt a baby. Just like looking at that positive line on my pregnancy test. It’s real and it is really gonna happen.

If I let myself I could cry all day at the sheer generosity of people. I love sharing this journey with you all. I love that when the final result, the baby is placed in our family, you all will get to look at that sweet face and know you have been a part of making that happen. That’s a lot of love. Our family is truly truly grateful for you.

Our Garage Sale was very successful and we could not have done it without the help of a few special people. We would like to give a special thank you to Meagan Sullivan, Chas Bonar, Sandy Myers, and Elizabeth Verner who volunteered their time on Saturday to stay all day and help with the sale. Our total at the end of the sale was
$1,362.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We’re coming for you, baby!

I'm Pregnant Too!

The other night I went to dinner with a group of ladies. We sat at a round table. On my left was my girlfriend with her 2 month old baby girl talking about sleep patterns and lifestyle changes. On my left, a girlfriend just found out she was pregnant and talked of morning sickness and weird cravings. And directly across from me sat my girlfriend that was due next month which came talk of back aches and sleepless nights, and of course, labor stories. Everyone was talking about what was happening in their life. Then the conversation turned towards me..."So how is the adoption going?" And I blurted out, "I'm pregnant too! It's a paperwork pregnancy and it's going great." Everyone laughed, but it got me thinking. I am, in fact, expecting.
Definition: to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of

Check, check, and double check! We are expecting. And I began to look at the parallels of their pregnancies and my expecting.

Sleep patterns: They are not normal. Every night I can hardly fall asleep because I'm thinking of upcoming fundraisers and what is left of the homework packet to fill out. Then sleep comes and it is filled with stressful dreams. Every dream is filled with a panic mode of some sort.

Morning sickness: yeah, sometimes :)

Weird cravings: Well, maybe not weird but definite cravings like a brownie sundae and rocky road ice cream. I'm a stress eater and the trash collector could let you know my exact stress level based on the amount of junk food wrappers in my garbage can.

Back aches: I got those too! The garage sale fundraiser is this Saturday and moving everything around has created quite the back ache.

Labor story: Here is the big difference. While a regular pregnancy will end with labor lasting up to 24 hours, mine has the potential to last for 24+ months. MONTHS PEOPLE!!!

The amount of work I will put into this pregnancy will be countless hours of paperwork, and interviews, and homestudies, and parenting classes, and fundraiser planning, and worry, and mostly love. Love for a child I have yet to meet. Love for a woman who will give the ultimate gift and sacrifice.

So, yes! I am pregnant too. Let's hope I can keep the weight gain to the standard 30pounds.