Thanksgiving just passed and it was a great day full of family, friends, amazing food, and Black Friday shopping! I have so much to be thankful for; my wonderful husband, my beautiful children, my loving family, the very best friends you could ask for, our home, our jobs, our health, and the unending love of a Heavenly Father and his on time provisions! I am also thanful for his gentle course correction.
I spend alot of my silent mental energy thinking about the adoption, the fundraising, how can we save more? I don't deal well with unknowns. I like a plan, a timeline, I like "knowns." But this whole process is teaching me how to live in unknowns and not lose my mind. I don't always win. In fact, I would say I wake up almost every morning and have to relearn the same lesson as the day before. It's funny how I can counsel women about resting and trusting in the timing of the Lord and his faithfulness and yet I struggle daily with this concept.
My pastor says this often, "What you recognize in your life you become thankful for. And what you become thankful for will increase in your life." You will never increase in areas of your life you are not thankful for. Period.
In other news...My 3 kids ages 9,7,6 were all off school the whole week of Thanksgiving. I love having them home really I do, but they are used to 8 hours a day of planned activities. I am not. And they wanted me to put up the Christmas decorations. Which takes me a full week to do when they are AT school. So we had a challenged week to say the least. I got aggravated from the top of the ladder several times during the week and demanded everyone needed some "quiet time in their room." I think I really just wanted someone to send me for some quiet time, though!
As I decorated the top of plant shelves, and milled over golf outing marketing strategies, I felt the Lord speak something to me. He said, "You are spending too much of your time and energy on something you have no control over. I am taking care of it, and you need to take care of your children." Whoa! I felt truly convicted as I realized I am not giving my 3 kids the best of me. I had spent more time aggravated than thankful.
Some of you may be tempted to judge me right now, and that's ok. I am openly confessing I need to do better job balancing my life. But I'm hoping more of you are relating with these feelings in one way or another and feel moved to be more thankful.
I want to work on recognizing the beauty and creativity and energy in my children and being thanful for all those things. If I expect the Lord to provide for this adoption, and I do because He promised it, then I must be thankful for what I have right now. I must be thankful for all the "knowns."
Here are my "knowns"
Abbey's "knowns" She is beautiful with brown eyes and bouncy dark blonde curls. She is endlessly creative and can make a scrap of paper an invention. She is a talented artist and is currently into sketching fashion. She is a great actess and singer. She is affectionate and loving. She is determined. She has a heart for Jesus and loves to help others.
Cole Roberts "knowns" This little boy wakes up every morning and the first words out of his mouth are a sleepy, "I love you, Mommy." He loves to cuddle. He is gentle. He loves Bible trivia. He can win every single wii game. He is smart, like real smart. He has a hilarious sense of humor. He can talk all.day.long.
A.J.'s "knowns" He has a calm about him. He has awesome hair. He builds amazing train tracks. He is good at Go Fish. His dimples will melt you every time. He loves one on one time. He is so funny. He is good at baseball and soccer. He loves to sneak up on the top bunk with his brother.
I am truly thankful for my children. And I want them to have the very best of me. God is taking care of my unknowns, it is my job to take care of the "knowns."
I know at the end of this we will say it wasn't by my might, or by my power, but by his spirit that all of this has happened.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
I Heard the Heartbeat
This weekend we were so blessed to get to attend The Adoptive Parent Weekend Classes. This is a 2 day class to prepare Adoptive Parents for what all aspects of their adoption process could look like. This is step 1 in the process. I tweeted on the way up to the class that I was so excited and felt like I did right before the doctors appointment when I knew I would get to hear the heartbeat when I was pregnant with Abbey.
I had done a ton of research over the last few months, I read blogs almost daily on adoption and real life adoption stories. But nothing could have really prepared me for what I experienced.
After one of our breaks the teacher announced, "And now we will hear from 2 birthmothers that chose to place their children for adoption." I listened as 2 women told a story I knew I would never have the courage to tell if the roles had been reversed. I listened as they shared how they found out they were pregnant, how they came to their decision, how they chose their families.
But when they talked about their hospital stay it was almost more than I could handle. They told how they delivered their child, held her in their arms, cried endlessly, and then how they signed papers and left the hospital alone. Both women cried as they told their stories which were barely 6 months old. They clutched the books containing "their families." They shared how they wanted so much more for their child then they knew they could give them. They wanted their children to grow up in a 2 parent households. It was with the greatest love I have ever had the privilege to be in the midst of that they decided to give their children the greatest gift. Not just life, but a good life.
Sounds familiar, doesn't it? That He would come to give us life, abundant life.
In ministry I have told that story 1000 times. Think how much your Heavenly father loves you? That he would give the most precious thing he has, his only Son, so that you could have life and have it to the fullest.
This weekend I saw the love of the Heavenly Father in the most tangible way. I saw someone do the most unselfish thing, the most loving thing they possibly could. I saw someone love like God loves.
I can tell you with all assurety, these are NOT unwanted children. They are not products of selfish mothers that want to just do their own thing. These children are loved with a greater love then most of us can comprehend.
As I sit here and think about a woman that will give us the greatest gift there is I feel an urgency to pray for her. I don't know her and she doesn't know me but one day we will be forever connected by a love that I'm not even sure I fully understand at this point.
But I know this...A birthmothers love for her child looks like God's love for us.
And that is the most beautiful heartbeat I have ever heard.
I had done a ton of research over the last few months, I read blogs almost daily on adoption and real life adoption stories. But nothing could have really prepared me for what I experienced.
After one of our breaks the teacher announced, "And now we will hear from 2 birthmothers that chose to place their children for adoption." I listened as 2 women told a story I knew I would never have the courage to tell if the roles had been reversed. I listened as they shared how they found out they were pregnant, how they came to their decision, how they chose their families.
But when they talked about their hospital stay it was almost more than I could handle. They told how they delivered their child, held her in their arms, cried endlessly, and then how they signed papers and left the hospital alone. Both women cried as they told their stories which were barely 6 months old. They clutched the books containing "their families." They shared how they wanted so much more for their child then they knew they could give them. They wanted their children to grow up in a 2 parent households. It was with the greatest love I have ever had the privilege to be in the midst of that they decided to give their children the greatest gift. Not just life, but a good life.
Sounds familiar, doesn't it? That He would come to give us life, abundant life.
In ministry I have told that story 1000 times. Think how much your Heavenly father loves you? That he would give the most precious thing he has, his only Son, so that you could have life and have it to the fullest.
This weekend I saw the love of the Heavenly Father in the most tangible way. I saw someone do the most unselfish thing, the most loving thing they possibly could. I saw someone love like God loves.
I can tell you with all assurety, these are NOT unwanted children. They are not products of selfish mothers that want to just do their own thing. These children are loved with a greater love then most of us can comprehend.
As I sit here and think about a woman that will give us the greatest gift there is I feel an urgency to pray for her. I don't know her and she doesn't know me but one day we will be forever connected by a love that I'm not even sure I fully understand at this point.
But I know this...A birthmothers love for her child looks like God's love for us.
And that is the most beautiful heartbeat I have ever heard.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Faith Steps
I just wanted to update everyone on where we are at with our adoption process. There is an Adoptive Parent Weekend November 11 and 12 that we will be attending. Originally, we did not think we were going to be able to attend but after a roller coaster of events we ARE going to be able to attend. This will be our first actual big step towards the process. However, it has not been the only steps we have been taking. We have taken several "faith steps" toward the process.
For instance, the bedrooms in our house are populated this way; Abbey's room, the boys room, and the playroom. We decided to get the boys bunk beds and move them into the playroom. We had been talking about this for a couple months and the boys were so excited! I took down their twin beds and put them away and we now have an empty room. We have been very careful to not make the children feel like they are being "pushed out to make way for the baby." The boys made the decision to move and the sweetest thing ever is Cole Robert calls their old room the baby's room.
I have a BabyWise book.
A friend asked me if would like her hand-me-downs. I said yes.
I cleaned a dresser out.
All these little things may not seem like much, but all these things say we are preparing for a baby to arrive. When is the baby coming? I don't know...but she is in fact coming.
We are able to attend this class because we have had another very successful garage sale where made another $700.00!!!!!!!!!!! I also have some items on Craigslist which if they all sell will put us at $1000.00
Our grand total between the garage sales, my new job contributions, and the sale of Sweet Things products is $2780.00
The total due for the class is $3000.00 and we feel confident that we will have the full amount come November 11. In case you are wondering how much remains after the class...about another $18,000. But I've learned this: It's just a number and the numbers do not phase me anymore. I KNOW where my help comes from and I KNOW this is His heart.
Thank you so much to everyone who has donated items for the sales or their time to help out. We feel so truly blessed. We know God is working for us to bring our family to completion.
If you are interested in donating to our process you can do so through chipin.com Our link is http://jillandaaronftw.chipin.com/our-adoption or you can click the link below.
For instance, the bedrooms in our house are populated this way; Abbey's room, the boys room, and the playroom. We decided to get the boys bunk beds and move them into the playroom. We had been talking about this for a couple months and the boys were so excited! I took down their twin beds and put them away and we now have an empty room. We have been very careful to not make the children feel like they are being "pushed out to make way for the baby." The boys made the decision to move and the sweetest thing ever is Cole Robert calls their old room the baby's room.
I have a BabyWise book.
A friend asked me if would like her hand-me-downs. I said yes.
I cleaned a dresser out.
All these little things may not seem like much, but all these things say we are preparing for a baby to arrive. When is the baby coming? I don't know...but she is in fact coming.
We are able to attend this class because we have had another very successful garage sale where made another $700.00!!!!!!!!!!! I also have some items on Craigslist which if they all sell will put us at $1000.00
Our grand total between the garage sales, my new job contributions, and the sale of Sweet Things products is $2780.00
The total due for the class is $3000.00 and we feel confident that we will have the full amount come November 11. In case you are wondering how much remains after the class...about another $18,000. But I've learned this: It's just a number and the numbers do not phase me anymore. I KNOW where my help comes from and I KNOW this is His heart.
Thank you so much to everyone who has donated items for the sales or their time to help out. We feel so truly blessed. We know God is working for us to bring our family to completion.
If you are interested in donating to our process you can do so through chipin.com Our link is http://jillandaaronftw.chipin.com/our-adoption or you can click the link below.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Just Having One of Those Days
Some days are rough. Some days I wonder will this really happen? Is our timeline even realistic? I try to do at least one small thing a day to move the adoption process forward. Maybe fill out a form or look up fund raising ideas or plan something. But sometimes all the forms are filled out and there's no planning left to do for a project. Those days are the rough days. I want to feel connected to this child in some way and all I have to do that is through paperwork or internet research. I don't "feel" pregnant everyday, even though I know that I am. Some days I am just unexplainably sad. I want our baby to know I thought about her every single day. That I worked towards it every single day.
When I was pregnant with Abbey, I was very much aware of it because I was constantly hungry which also meant my waistline was expanding (greatly). With Cole, I was aware of it because I spent most the day throwing up. Also, he kicked me every second of the day, even when I was walking. And with A.J., I craved chili cheese dogs which is a craving I have only had pregnant with him.
With this baby, I am not pregnant in my body, but I feel it deep inside. I don't feel her kick me or when she has the hiccups, but I feel the strongest tug on my heart. I don't ever "forget" a baby is coming.
Today I was just having one of those days.
Remembering this verse helps: Isaiah 59:1 Behold his hand is not so short that it cannot save, nor his ear dull that it cannot hear.
When I was pregnant with Abbey, I was very much aware of it because I was constantly hungry which also meant my waistline was expanding (greatly). With Cole, I was aware of it because I spent most the day throwing up. Also, he kicked me every second of the day, even when I was walking. And with A.J., I craved chili cheese dogs which is a craving I have only had pregnant with him.
With this baby, I am not pregnant in my body, but I feel it deep inside. I don't feel her kick me or when she has the hiccups, but I feel the strongest tug on my heart. I don't ever "forget" a baby is coming.
Today I was just having one of those days.
Remembering this verse helps: Isaiah 59:1 Behold his hand is not so short that it cannot save, nor his ear dull that it cannot hear.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
The Process
I've received alot of questions and comments about the how the adoption process works and why it costs so much lately so I thought I'd take a few min to explain it. I will try to post what my 6 months of research took me to understand into 500 words or less.
When you decide you want to start the domestic newborn adoption process you get in touch with an agency. We are going through Bethany Christian Services. You then attend an orientation meeting. Next comes the application. The fee for the application is $500 and requires about 20 pages of paperwork. This lets the agency know you are ready to start the process. Next comes a series of 3 tasks that must be completed in no specific order.
1. The Homework packet. A manilla envelope filled with single sheet papers about 3inches thick that all need to be filled out, signed and dated. This homework packet comes with background checks and fingerprinting and safety checks and in depth profiles about our history and finanaces. To turn in this packet requires a $2500.00 payment.
2. The Homestudy. This is where a caseworker comes into our home to interview our family and make sure our home is a safe place to raise a child. Having an approved homestudy is the most important thing an adoptive family can have. This homestudy is $2500.00.
3. The Adoptive Parent Weekend. This is a day and half of classes to bring up all aspects of the adoption, including issues that may come up later in life such as potential issues with inter-racial adoptive families and how to deal with your child wanting to search for their birthparents. This class is $3000.00
Those are the 3 main components of making you a qualified "Waiting Family." Once those three things have been completed then you can put together a profile that will be viewed by birthmothers. In the original packet you fill out there is an Openness Plan as to the type of child you would like to adopt as well as the openness of the adoption you would like to have with the birthmom. You have the opportunity to be as open minded or narrow minded about that plan as would like, but you must keep in mind that the birthmothers are only shown profiles that match their plan for their child. The more open your plan is the more birthmothers will be shown your profile. There is a Family Profile Fee of $600.00
At this point, we would be considered a Waiting Family. ***insert my happy dance***
Birthmoms will be shown our profile and when SHE PICKS US then there is a fee of $2000.00 due at the time of the match. This fee is to cover any medical expenses or expenses related to the pregnancy.
Then at the most wonderful, magical, exciting moment ever when the baby is actually placed with us and all papers are signed then the Placement fee of $10,900 is due. This cost is to cover all legal expenses and post placement visits by the caseworker.
This is the step by step process of how our adoption will costs. Now, if you were adding it up it goes like this: $500 + $2,500 + $2,500 + $3,000 + $600 + $2000 + $10,900 = $22,000 which is also = we don't care how much it costs because the first time we hold our baby it all becomes priceless!
I hope this answers a lot of the questions as to why the process takes so long and why it costs so much. This post may have seemed very matter of fact and only about finances but really it was just to educate about the process. If I would have inserted any emotions or thoughts on the matter this blog would've well exceeded my promised 500 word count. ***addendum: actual word count is 674, unless you count this then its 687, oh well. You win some, you lose some. Shoot! Now its 699.
Please continue to help us pray for provision and patience. More news will be coming next week as to the upcoming fall fundraisers we have planned.
When you decide you want to start the domestic newborn adoption process you get in touch with an agency. We are going through Bethany Christian Services. You then attend an orientation meeting. Next comes the application. The fee for the application is $500 and requires about 20 pages of paperwork. This lets the agency know you are ready to start the process. Next comes a series of 3 tasks that must be completed in no specific order.
1. The Homework packet. A manilla envelope filled with single sheet papers about 3inches thick that all need to be filled out, signed and dated. This homework packet comes with background checks and fingerprinting and safety checks and in depth profiles about our history and finanaces. To turn in this packet requires a $2500.00 payment.
2. The Homestudy. This is where a caseworker comes into our home to interview our family and make sure our home is a safe place to raise a child. Having an approved homestudy is the most important thing an adoptive family can have. This homestudy is $2500.00.
3. The Adoptive Parent Weekend. This is a day and half of classes to bring up all aspects of the adoption, including issues that may come up later in life such as potential issues with inter-racial adoptive families and how to deal with your child wanting to search for their birthparents. This class is $3000.00
Those are the 3 main components of making you a qualified "Waiting Family." Once those three things have been completed then you can put together a profile that will be viewed by birthmothers. In the original packet you fill out there is an Openness Plan as to the type of child you would like to adopt as well as the openness of the adoption you would like to have with the birthmom. You have the opportunity to be as open minded or narrow minded about that plan as would like, but you must keep in mind that the birthmothers are only shown profiles that match their plan for their child. The more open your plan is the more birthmothers will be shown your profile. There is a Family Profile Fee of $600.00
At this point, we would be considered a Waiting Family. ***insert my happy dance***
Birthmoms will be shown our profile and when SHE PICKS US then there is a fee of $2000.00 due at the time of the match. This fee is to cover any medical expenses or expenses related to the pregnancy.
Then at the most wonderful, magical, exciting moment ever when the baby is actually placed with us and all papers are signed then the Placement fee of $10,900 is due. This cost is to cover all legal expenses and post placement visits by the caseworker.
This is the step by step process of how our adoption will costs. Now, if you were adding it up it goes like this: $500 + $2,500 + $2,500 + $3,000 + $600 + $2000 + $10,900 = $22,000 which is also = we don't care how much it costs because the first time we hold our baby it all becomes priceless!
I hope this answers a lot of the questions as to why the process takes so long and why it costs so much. This post may have seemed very matter of fact and only about finances but really it was just to educate about the process. If I would have inserted any emotions or thoughts on the matter this blog would've well exceeded my promised 500 word count. ***addendum: actual word count is 674, unless you count this then its 687, oh well. You win some, you lose some. Shoot! Now its 699.
Please continue to help us pray for provision and patience. More news will be coming next week as to the upcoming fall fundraisers we have planned.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
FTW Garage Sale Fundraiser Update
This was our first fundraiser event. Over 15 families donated to our sale. Even my kids made cookies and brownies to contribute. Every day new people came by to help sort through items or drop off items. We have really been overwhelmed by the generosity of everyone that contributed. Some we never even met before!
When I was pregnant with my first baby, we kept it a secret until I was 12 weeks. I loved that secret that my husband and I shared. And telling my mom and dad was one of the most fun things I have ever done. There wasn’t facebook or twitter then and people sorta found out in a trickle effect and every time we told someone I felt like I was looking at the positive line on my pregnancy test all over again. Babies 2 and 3 were fairly similar experiences.
My husband and I are pretty private people when it comes to the details of our lives. We never discussed “getting pregnant” with the first three with other people, but that could be because we just got pregnant and we weren’t trying. This situation was obviously completely different. We were pregnant with just the idea of the adoption process for so long. We discussed it. A LOT. Reviewed it from every angle. Talked to friends and family about it. Then made it very public very quickly.
I feel so touched that people, some I know very well and some who I don’t even know at all, follow our journey. Even simple things like following our blog. Each act makes me think, this is really gonna happen! We really are gonna be able to adopt a baby. Just like looking at that positive line on my pregnancy test. It’s real and it is really gonna happen.
If I let myself I could cry all day at the sheer generosity of people. I love sharing this journey with you all. I love that when the final result, the baby is placed in our family, you all will get to look at that sweet face and know you have been a part of making that happen. That’s a lot of love. Our family is truly truly grateful for you.
Our Garage Sale was very successful and we could not have done it without the help of a few special people. We would like to give a special thank you to Meagan Sullivan, Chas Bonar, Sandy Myers, and Elizabeth Verner who volunteered their time on Saturday to stay all day and help with the sale. Our total at the end of the sale was
$1,362.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We’re coming for you, baby!
When I was pregnant with my first baby, we kept it a secret until I was 12 weeks. I loved that secret that my husband and I shared. And telling my mom and dad was one of the most fun things I have ever done. There wasn’t facebook or twitter then and people sorta found out in a trickle effect and every time we told someone I felt like I was looking at the positive line on my pregnancy test all over again. Babies 2 and 3 were fairly similar experiences.
My husband and I are pretty private people when it comes to the details of our lives. We never discussed “getting pregnant” with the first three with other people, but that could be because we just got pregnant and we weren’t trying. This situation was obviously completely different. We were pregnant with just the idea of the adoption process for so long. We discussed it. A LOT. Reviewed it from every angle. Talked to friends and family about it. Then made it very public very quickly.
I feel so touched that people, some I know very well and some who I don’t even know at all, follow our journey. Even simple things like following our blog. Each act makes me think, this is really gonna happen! We really are gonna be able to adopt a baby. Just like looking at that positive line on my pregnancy test. It’s real and it is really gonna happen.
If I let myself I could cry all day at the sheer generosity of people. I love sharing this journey with you all. I love that when the final result, the baby is placed in our family, you all will get to look at that sweet face and know you have been a part of making that happen. That’s a lot of love. Our family is truly truly grateful for you.
Our Garage Sale was very successful and we could not have done it without the help of a few special people. We would like to give a special thank you to Meagan Sullivan, Chas Bonar, Sandy Myers, and Elizabeth Verner who volunteered their time on Saturday to stay all day and help with the sale. Our total at the end of the sale was
$1,362.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We’re coming for you, baby!
Monday, August 8, 2011
I'm Pregnant Too!
The other night I went to dinner with a group of ladies. We sat at a round table. On my left was my girlfriend with her 2 month old baby girl talking about sleep patterns and lifestyle changes. On my left, a girlfriend just found out she was pregnant and talked of morning sickness and weird cravings. And directly across from me sat my girlfriend that was due next month which came talk of back aches and sleepless nights, and of course, labor stories. Everyone was talking about what was happening in their life. Then the conversation turned towards me..."So how is the adoption going?" And I blurted out, "I'm pregnant too! It's a paperwork pregnancy and it's going great." Everyone laughed, but it got me thinking. I am, in fact, expecting.
Definition: to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of
Check, check, and double check! We are expecting. And I began to look at the parallels of their pregnancies and my expecting.
Sleep patterns: They are not normal. Every night I can hardly fall asleep because I'm thinking of upcoming fundraisers and what is left of the homework packet to fill out. Then sleep comes and it is filled with stressful dreams. Every dream is filled with a panic mode of some sort.
Morning sickness: yeah, sometimes :)
Weird cravings: Well, maybe not weird but definite cravings like a brownie sundae and rocky road ice cream. I'm a stress eater and the trash collector could let you know my exact stress level based on the amount of junk food wrappers in my garbage can.
Back aches: I got those too! The garage sale fundraiser is this Saturday and moving everything around has created quite the back ache.
Labor story: Here is the big difference. While a regular pregnancy will end with labor lasting up to 24 hours, mine has the potential to last for 24+ months. MONTHS PEOPLE!!!
The amount of work I will put into this pregnancy will be countless hours of paperwork, and interviews, and homestudies, and parenting classes, and fundraiser planning, and worry, and mostly love. Love for a child I have yet to meet. Love for a woman who will give the ultimate gift and sacrifice.
So, yes! I am pregnant too. Let's hope I can keep the weight gain to the standard 30pounds.
Definition: to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of
Check, check, and double check! We are expecting. And I began to look at the parallels of their pregnancies and my expecting.
Sleep patterns: They are not normal. Every night I can hardly fall asleep because I'm thinking of upcoming fundraisers and what is left of the homework packet to fill out. Then sleep comes and it is filled with stressful dreams. Every dream is filled with a panic mode of some sort.
Morning sickness: yeah, sometimes :)
Weird cravings: Well, maybe not weird but definite cravings like a brownie sundae and rocky road ice cream. I'm a stress eater and the trash collector could let you know my exact stress level based on the amount of junk food wrappers in my garbage can.
Back aches: I got those too! The garage sale fundraiser is this Saturday and moving everything around has created quite the back ache.
Labor story: Here is the big difference. While a regular pregnancy will end with labor lasting up to 24 hours, mine has the potential to last for 24+ months. MONTHS PEOPLE!!!
The amount of work I will put into this pregnancy will be countless hours of paperwork, and interviews, and homestudies, and parenting classes, and fundraiser planning, and worry, and mostly love. Love for a child I have yet to meet. Love for a woman who will give the ultimate gift and sacrifice.
So, yes! I am pregnant too. Let's hope I can keep the weight gain to the standard 30pounds.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
FTW Fundraisers
We are starting on a grand adventure of adopting a new baby. The expense is great, but the reward is greater. I am not aftraid to work for it either! I am willing to clean closets and garages. I also offer decorating services and party planning services.
We are planning many different fundraisers including a 5K Fun Run, a Golf Outing, and a Gala.
But we are starting with a Garage Sale.
If you have any items you would like to donate for our sale, just message me and I will come pick them up. Even if it is just a few items it will be greatly appreciated.
We are hoping to raise $3,000.00 by mid October to be able to take our first real step into the process with a required Adoptive Parent weekend. We have already put in our application and are approved applicants.
We invite you to follow our journey and please feel free to suggest this blog to anyone. If you would like to donate to our family cause, please click the chipin button and the bottom of this post or find us at www.jillandaaronftw.chipin.com
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.
James 1:27
We choose the Spirit of Adoption,
The Lawson Family
We are planning many different fundraisers including a 5K Fun Run, a Golf Outing, and a Gala.
But we are starting with a Garage Sale.
If you have any items you would like to donate for our sale, just message me and I will come pick them up. Even if it is just a few items it will be greatly appreciated.
We are hoping to raise $3,000.00 by mid October to be able to take our first real step into the process with a required Adoptive Parent weekend. We have already put in our application and are approved applicants.
We invite you to follow our journey and please feel free to suggest this blog to anyone. If you would like to donate to our family cause, please click the chipin button and the bottom of this post or find us at www.jillandaaronftw.chipin.com
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.
James 1:27
We choose the Spirit of Adoption,
The Lawson Family
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Why Do You Want to Adopt?
Any couple seeking to adopt will be asked this question several times. But when you already have 3 children it gets asked with a certain tone attached to it. If you have more than 2 children you know exactly the tone I'm talking about. When you announce the first one everyone is ecstatic, the second, still excited. But when you announce the third you get that you-poor-pitiful-thing-you head tilt and they say in their sympathy symphony tone, "how do you all feel about that?" And when you have any children after that they just take a deep breath, pat you on the hand and feel free to offer any advice they can because, after all, you have probably lost all your brain cells. Ah well. Perception, I suppose.
Look around. The American Dream is expanding. More families are bigger than the standard 2.5 kids than ever before.
Why do we want to Adopt?
Well there are many reasons, but I like this one the best; Why not?
Aaron and I love the sound of being called mommy and daddy more than any other sound on the planet. We love, love, love our children and our family. There are children that need a mommy and daddy to love, love, love them. And we are happy to answer the call.
As a young teenager, I knew I wanted to adopt one day. We were married in 1999 and Abigail came in December 2001. Cole Robert in June of 2004 and A.J. in August 2005. Our quiver became full quickly. After 3 c-sections and 1 tubal pregnancy surgery, my doctor strongly suggested I have my tubes tied. I was completely fine with it. Even months, and even years later I was still ok with it. But in the summer of 2010 we went on a family vacation and noticed all these families with 4 children. I felt like something was missing, and Aaron was having the same feelings. We looked into options but only truly considered adoption.
Because, why not?
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.
James 1:27
We choose the Spirit of Adoption
Look around. The American Dream is expanding. More families are bigger than the standard 2.5 kids than ever before.
Why do we want to Adopt?
Well there are many reasons, but I like this one the best; Why not?
Aaron and I love the sound of being called mommy and daddy more than any other sound on the planet. We love, love, love our children and our family. There are children that need a mommy and daddy to love, love, love them. And we are happy to answer the call.
As a young teenager, I knew I wanted to adopt one day. We were married in 1999 and Abigail came in December 2001. Cole Robert in June of 2004 and A.J. in August 2005. Our quiver became full quickly. After 3 c-sections and 1 tubal pregnancy surgery, my doctor strongly suggested I have my tubes tied. I was completely fine with it. Even months, and even years later I was still ok with it. But in the summer of 2010 we went on a family vacation and noticed all these families with 4 children. I felt like something was missing, and Aaron was having the same feelings. We looked into options but only truly considered adoption.
Because, why not?
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.
James 1:27
We choose the Spirit of Adoption
Monday, July 18, 2011
Step 1: The Application
Today was a big day at our household. We mailed off our application for adoption…..Deep breath. I will tell about our reasons for adoption in my next post.
This moment didn’t come as a quick decision or without a lot of sleepless nights. Truth be told the application has been sitting on the desk in our office since Thanksgiving. We just celebrated the 4th of July. This moment was a long time coming.
There are a lot of reasons why the application sat on the desk for so long. But mainly, I guess, it sat there because of fear.
In November we attended an orientation about the newborn domestic adoption process and we were ready to go. Give me a pen and I’ll write a check! Then they had a special time at the end where adoptive families tell their story. They had 5 families. One ended up with twins, one child was born with HIV, and two other families received phone calls that they were chosen and should come to the hospital right away. They had to stop by Walmart to buy a carseat on the way! I put the pen back in my purse. What?!? No notice?!? I watch Lifetime movies. What happened to the birthmom that chooses you and you go to ultrasound appointments and doctor appointments and baby showers together. I’ll do without the part of the movie where she runs off with my husband and jewelry though. Stupid lifetime movies.
All the sudden I was terrified. What if we get a baby in two months, 2 weeks, 2 days? Christmas was around the corner. My husband said lets fill this out when we get home. I pretended to be busy and “forget.” I talked to him the next night and told him how it worried me that it could happen so fast, and I really wanted to wait until after the holidays to fill out the application. He thought I was being a little irrational (nicely put) but agreed with me. Fast forward to after the New Year. My job that I had at the time was a lucrative work from home position that was going to finance our adoption and make money a non issue. And I lost it. Now money was a HUGE issue. And I began to resolve myself to the idea that this might not happen. And more dust piled on the application folder. The money that had been set aside for the application was needed elsewhere. We quit looking at the “steps of payment” and just saw the huge looming end total. $20, 000.00 That may as well of been 20 floppity bajillion dollars. (That’s just a non-sensical term. Don’t google it.)
A deep sadness came over me and settled over my life for a couple of months. I thought this was our family’s path. I thought for sure we were “about our Fathers business.” What happened? And I resolved myself to this just wasn’t gonna happen.
One day the phone rang, and my sweet friend told me about a 4 month baby girl who was being fostered but the foster mother was unable to adopt her. They wanted to find a good Christian home for her to suggest to the court, and were we interested? Uh, YEAH!!!! I talked to my husband and he completely agreed and we began to wait for this foster mom to call us back. And we waited and waited and waited. I promise my whole life was on pause for over 2 weeks. My phone never left my hand. I even found a way to put it in the shower with me. She never called and we found out she decided to adopt the baby girl. And I finally exhaled. Knowing to me was better than not knowing.
Any questions we had about whether we wanted to continue with this or not had been answered. Yes! We want to adopt. If takes 3 years, fine. If we have to raise the money one garage sale at time, fine. But we were going to do this.
I dusted the application folder off and opened it up for the first time in a long time. I filled out the first two pages and then this thought hit me. I can fill this out and get it ready to go but I can’t include a $500 check with it so why bother? And the application folder was closed again and sat back on the desk.
Finally, through some freelance decorating project that literally fell right in my lap, we had the money to send the application off. That joy lasted 15 whole seconds because where would the next $2500.00 come from?
Then I got the grand idea that I would start a business, which is super cute if I do say so myself. Check out Sweet Things by Jillian . I set up my festival booth right next to that corndog stand. Cutest one there too. Funny thing about firework festivals….most people just want a corndog. They weren’t expecting to find flowered hairclips. And the sadness crept in again. How is this gonna work out? God, if you own the cattle on a 1000 hills, could you just give me 4 or 5?
Finally my husband had a come-to-Jesus-meeting with me. He said, “You are looking at everything in light of the finances for this adoption. This is His heart and God is our provider. The order that he establishes does not change. Now fill out the application and write the check.” (That is the short version, but you can still say Amen!) And that’s what I did.
Do I know where the rest is coming from? Nope, sure don’t. But I know where my hope comes from, and that’ll do.
This moment didn’t come as a quick decision or without a lot of sleepless nights. Truth be told the application has been sitting on the desk in our office since Thanksgiving. We just celebrated the 4th of July. This moment was a long time coming.
There are a lot of reasons why the application sat on the desk for so long. But mainly, I guess, it sat there because of fear.
In November we attended an orientation about the newborn domestic adoption process and we were ready to go. Give me a pen and I’ll write a check! Then they had a special time at the end where adoptive families tell their story. They had 5 families. One ended up with twins, one child was born with HIV, and two other families received phone calls that they were chosen and should come to the hospital right away. They had to stop by Walmart to buy a carseat on the way! I put the pen back in my purse. What?!? No notice?!? I watch Lifetime movies. What happened to the birthmom that chooses you and you go to ultrasound appointments and doctor appointments and baby showers together. I’ll do without the part of the movie where she runs off with my husband and jewelry though. Stupid lifetime movies.
All the sudden I was terrified. What if we get a baby in two months, 2 weeks, 2 days? Christmas was around the corner. My husband said lets fill this out when we get home. I pretended to be busy and “forget.” I talked to him the next night and told him how it worried me that it could happen so fast, and I really wanted to wait until after the holidays to fill out the application. He thought I was being a little irrational (nicely put) but agreed with me. Fast forward to after the New Year. My job that I had at the time was a lucrative work from home position that was going to finance our adoption and make money a non issue. And I lost it. Now money was a HUGE issue. And I began to resolve myself to the idea that this might not happen. And more dust piled on the application folder. The money that had been set aside for the application was needed elsewhere. We quit looking at the “steps of payment” and just saw the huge looming end total. $20, 000.00 That may as well of been 20 floppity bajillion dollars. (That’s just a non-sensical term. Don’t google it.)
A deep sadness came over me and settled over my life for a couple of months. I thought this was our family’s path. I thought for sure we were “about our Fathers business.” What happened? And I resolved myself to this just wasn’t gonna happen.
One day the phone rang, and my sweet friend told me about a 4 month baby girl who was being fostered but the foster mother was unable to adopt her. They wanted to find a good Christian home for her to suggest to the court, and were we interested? Uh, YEAH!!!! I talked to my husband and he completely agreed and we began to wait for this foster mom to call us back. And we waited and waited and waited. I promise my whole life was on pause for over 2 weeks. My phone never left my hand. I even found a way to put it in the shower with me. She never called and we found out she decided to adopt the baby girl. And I finally exhaled. Knowing to me was better than not knowing.
Any questions we had about whether we wanted to continue with this or not had been answered. Yes! We want to adopt. If takes 3 years, fine. If we have to raise the money one garage sale at time, fine. But we were going to do this.
I dusted the application folder off and opened it up for the first time in a long time. I filled out the first two pages and then this thought hit me. I can fill this out and get it ready to go but I can’t include a $500 check with it so why bother? And the application folder was closed again and sat back on the desk.
Finally, through some freelance decorating project that literally fell right in my lap, we had the money to send the application off. That joy lasted 15 whole seconds because where would the next $2500.00 come from?
Then I got the grand idea that I would start a business, which is super cute if I do say so myself. Check out Sweet Things by Jillian . I set up my festival booth right next to that corndog stand. Cutest one there too. Funny thing about firework festivals….most people just want a corndog. They weren’t expecting to find flowered hairclips. And the sadness crept in again. How is this gonna work out? God, if you own the cattle on a 1000 hills, could you just give me 4 or 5?
Finally my husband had a come-to-Jesus-meeting with me. He said, “You are looking at everything in light of the finances for this adoption. This is His heart and God is our provider. The order that he establishes does not change. Now fill out the application and write the check.” (That is the short version, but you can still say Amen!) And that’s what I did.
Do I know where the rest is coming from? Nope, sure don’t. But I know where my hope comes from, and that’ll do.
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