Oh dear Lord! We have been through an orientation, a mountain of paperwork, a weekend class, and 3 homestudies. And I promise you the most taxing thing I have had to endure is the creation of our profile book.
What's a profile book, you ask? Short answer: the end of my sanity. Actual answer: It the book hopeful adoptive parents put together with pictures, and descriptions of their family life, and letters to the birth mom/family. No biggs, right? You couldn't be more wrong. This is the book birthmoms will look through to choose the family they will place their child with forever. This is the only way of introducing yourself to this woman who you hope will choose you.
Panic attack commence!
This started with me going through every digital picture we ever have ever. On my old Dell computer. Several times I considered throwing it straight out the window. But I can't because then I'll have nothing to put in our book.
As I desperately comb through what was easily thousands of photos to find the very essence of who we are, my panic attack turned into an identity crisis. Who are we? What do we want to say about ourself, our family?
Here are actual thoughts that went through my head while combing through photos to find just the right ones. I will tell you straight up before you read this list they sound completely crazy and irrational, albeit true thoughts I had. Pray y'all!
"Not everyone is smiling, they won't think we are happy."
"Not that picture that has the gereric trains in it. Where is the pics of him playing with the Thomas trains?"
"My hair looks too gray, she will think I am too old for a baby."
"Well Abbey and AJ look like they are having fun. Maybe I can crop Cole throwing a tantrum out of this one."
"That shirt has a stain on it. She will think I'm dirty." (BTW...this was a pic of the kids DYEING EASTER EGGS)
"Nope, mismatched jammies."
"Can't use pics of you completely in the ocean, she might think we are careless."
"Look at that mess in the background. I think its laundry. Discard."
"You look like you're rolling your eyes. Oh wait, you were. I thought it was funny. Maybe she won't appreciate sarcasm."
"I know this is supposed to look like you are brushing my hair back, but it actually looks like your about to hit me."
"That shirt I have on shows my fat roll. Next."
"We look entirely too white in this one. Where are the pics after we went to the beach?"
And these are just a few of thoughts that have went through my head in the last 18 days.
In all seriousness though, I have labored so tirelessly on this book, because this is it. For her. For our birthmom. And she deserves the very best we can give her, because that is what she is giving to us. Her best. And I couldn't be more grateful.
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